The OSEF Initiative

The Old South Engine Foundation was established after rescuing a fire truck from demolition. I simply couldn't rationalize letting a remarkable fire truck, which had once served its community, be auctioned off, dismantled for scrap, and stripped of its engine and transmission.

After securing the fire truck at auction, I started to contemplate my personal experiences and realized how closely my own story mirrored this situation.

I worked in law enforcement immediately after college, both full-time and as a reserve officer, for around five years from 2001 to 2006, while married to a fellow law enforcement officer. My wife served for roughly 12 years until two back surgeries led to her early retirement. Currently, she continues to contribute on the civilian side by assisting in recruiting new personnel for our local department.

In my early 40s, I started experiencing problems with sleep, recurring nightmares, general anxiety, and depression. It's important to mention that before this time, I had never encountered issues with sleep or nightmares related to my law enforcement career.

The problems began with sleep disturbances and rapidly progressed to recurring nightmares, leaving me with little rest. I came to dread going to bed. Most of these nightmares were directly connected to specific calls I had responded to as an officer.

Then I began experiencing issues with anxiety and depression. The anxiety emerged in a place I had always loved visiting. I always enjoyed doing the grocery shopping for my wife and me. Soon, I found myself having an anxiety attack in the grocery store, without understanding what was happening or why.

It would begin with a ringing in my ears, followed by a racing pulse and my peripheral vision darkening like tunnel vision. If it became severe, I would grip the cart tightly, feeling as though my legs might give out and I would collapse in the store.

After the second or third full-blown attack, I confided in my wife about what was happening. She had studied social work in college, taken many psychology courses, interned at a mental health and addiction facility, and worked as a law enforcement officer, so she understood exactly what I was experiencing.

She explained it was a panic attack, likely related to my sleeping and nightmare issues. She begged me to go to a counselor but I refused. It was hard enough admitting it to my wife. I would never confess to a stranger that I had an issue.

I grew up in a family where my father downplayed and ignored the reality of mental health problems. He didn't acknowledge mental health as a serious issue and often dismissed and mocked it, which came across as insensitive or harmful to those struggling with it. He believed that men should remain stoic, not show emotions, and keep everything to themselves. He also lacked trust in mental health professionals, frequently making harsh jokes about both counselors and their clients. Additionally, in the law enforcement field, discussing personal feelings was discouraged and unheard of due to the stigma that surrounded it.

I only sought help from a counselor after my anxiety and depression significantly worsened, finally heeding my wife's advice. While I won't delve into all the details, I can say that without my wife's persistent encouragement to seek counseling and my eventual decision to overcome the stigma instilled by my father and many of my peers in law enforcement, I wouldn't be here today. I largely credit my wife for this and know the true love she has for me.

At first, I was reluctant to try counseling, but I soon realized that talking about my problems and learning coping mechanisms made a positive difference.

Over the years, I discussed my story with some close friends in law enforcement who shared their own struggles with me. Some of them have even sought counseling after I shared my story and acknowledged that it was immensely beneficial for them.

This leads us to the present with the establishment of the Old South Engine Foundation. When I "rescued" the fire truck, I connected it to my own experience of being saved and started seeking ways to support other first responders who might be facing difficulties.

I discovered a program via Cordico/Lexipol, which offers numerous state-certified training curricula and continuing education for first responders. The program entailed 25 hours of accredited core coursework, with graded tests following each core class. After successfully completing all the core classes with passing test scores, I received the Cordico Peer Support Specialist certification.

During this period, I was also in communication with the local NAMI chapter (NAMI-Piedmont Tri-County). I completed the training program for the NAMI Connections Group Facilitator. This would offer an excellent platform to initiate a meeting group exclusively for first responders, where peers can share their concerns and challenges, learn coping skills, and support one another. Additionally, this would help start dismantling the "stigma" that continues to affect the first responder community today.

We are in the process of organizing the inaugural joint First Responders Connections meeting between the Old South Engine Foundation and NAMI-Piedmont TriCounty.

In the meantime, I created the acronym O.S.E.F. for the Old South Engine Foundation, which might be the basis for a future podcast.

I also thought of an excellent tagline that aligns with O.S.E.F.

Overcome Silence. Emerge Fearless.

This is "The O.S.E.F. Initiative," perfectly suited for First Responders facing job-related mental health challenges and eager to overcome the associated stigma.

Keep checking back for more information!